Meeting scripts — what to say when they push back
Calm, firm, and on the record. Keep these on your phone for the meeting.
When they say: "He's doing fine — he's passing."
"I hear that he's passing, and I'm glad. But the legal standard isn't passing, it's meaningful progress toward his goals. Can we look at the actual data on where he is versus grade level? I want to understand whether he's truly learning or just being moved along."
When they say: "We don't think she needs an evaluation."
"I understand that's the school's view, and I'm formally requesting a full evaluation in writing today under Child Find. If the district is declining, I'd like that refusal in Prior Written Notice, including the reasons and the data it's based on. Can we agree on that?"
When they say: "There's no funding or staff for that."
"I understand budgets are real, but my child's services have to be based on their needs, not on what's currently available. Can we document what the team agrees he needs first, and then talk separately about how the district will provide it?"
When they say: "Let's just try this for now and see."
"I'm okay trying something, as long as we write down exactly what we're trying, how we'll measure it, and the date we'll reconvene to check the data. Can we put that in the IEP so it doesn't get lost?"
When the goals are vague.
"This goal says she'll 'improve.' Can we make it measurable — what skill, how much, by when, and how we'll measure it? I want to be able to tell in six months whether it's working."
When you feel rushed or outnumbered.
"I want to make a good decision for my child, and I'm not ready to sign today. I'd like to take this home, review it, and respond in writing. Please send me the draft and any data, and let's keep the conversation going."
The one sentence to remember.
"Can we please put that in writing?" — Said calmly, it changes everything. It turns a vague promise into an enforceable record, and it signals you know how this works.