★
Now what? Your first 90 days
You just realized your child needs help — and the whole system feels like a wall. Breathe. Here is exactly what to do, one step at a time. You do not have to do it all today.
First, the truth: nothing bad happens if you take this slowly. You have not missed a deadline. There is no test you're failing. The most important thing you can do right now is start one written paper trail — everything else follows from that.
DAYS 1–7
Steady yourself & start the paper trail
This week
- Write the request that starts everything. Email your child's school (the principal and any teacher) one sentence: "I am requesting in writing that the school evaluate my child for special education in all areas of suspected need." That single email starts a legal clock the school must follow.
- Start a folder — paper, a binder, or a phone folder. Every email, report card, note home, and doctor's note goes in it from now on. (Our free Child's Binder tool sets this up in 10 minutes.)
- Write down what you're seeing — a few notes about what worries you, with dates. You are the expert on your child; this becomes evidence.
- Don't quit anything. Don't pull them from school, don't pay for a private eval yet, don't sign anything new. Just start the request and the folder.
💡 Keep every promise in writing. After any phone call, send a short "just confirming what we discussed…" email. A friendly paper trail protects your child.
DAYS 8–30
The evaluation & your rights
This month
- The school will send a consent form. Read it, then sign it — the evaluation cannot start until you do. Signing only agrees to testing, not to any plan.
- Ask for the timeline in writing. Most states require the eval to finish within ~60 days of your consent. Get the date.
- Gather records: report cards, any prior testing, doctor's notes, and a few work samples that show the struggle.
- See your pediatrician too, if you haven't. School and medical evaluations answer different questions — both help.
- Learn two words: IEP (the legal plan with services, for kids who qualify under a disability category) and 504 (accommodations for kids who don't qualify for an IEP but still need support). Our IEP-or-504 explainer takes 3 minutes.
💡 If the school says "let's wait and see" or "they're not far enough behind," you can still insist on the evaluation in writing. "Wait and see" is not a legal answer to a written request.
DAYS 31–60
The meeting where the plan is built
Next
- You'll be invited to a meeting to go over results and decide if your child qualifies. You are a full, equal member of that team — not a guest.
- Ask for the report a few days early so you can read it without pressure. You're allowed to.
- Bring one page of notes: your child's strengths, your top 3 worries, and what a good day vs. a hard day looks like. Use our All About Me one-pager.
- You can say "I'd like time to think." You never have to sign the plan in the room. Take it home, read it, sign when you're ready.
- If you disagree with the school's evaluation, you have the right to a free Independent Educational Evaluation (IEE) at the district's expense. That's leverage most parents never know they have.
💡 A good plan has specific, measurable goals and exact service minutes ("30 min of speech, 2× weekly") — not vague promises like "as needed."
DAYS 61–90
Services start — and you keep watch
Settling in
- Confirm services actually started on the dates the plan promised. Email the case manager to check.
- Set a simple home rhythm. Pick one thing from our At-Home Starter Plan and do it a few times a week. One small thing beats ten you can't keep up.
- Watch for progress reports — the plan should be measured, not just filed. If a goal isn't moving in a few months, you can ask the team to meet again.
- You can request a meeting any time — you don't have to wait a year. Put it in writing.
- Find your people. A local parent group or advocate makes all of this lighter. Enter your ZIP on our Find Help page to see who's near you.
💡 Save this roadmap. In a year you'll do an "annual review" of the plan — these same instincts (read early, bring notes, sign when ready) carry you through every one.
✉️ Copy-and-paste these
You don't have to find the perfect words. Start with these.
"Dear [Principal], I am formally requesting in writing that the school conduct a full special-education evaluation of my child, [name], in all areas of suspected need. Please send me the consent forms and the evaluation timeline. Thank you."
"Hi [Teacher], just confirming our conversation today — you mentioned [what they said]. I want to make sure I understood correctly. Thank you for working with us on this."
"I'd like a few days to review this plan at home before I sign. Could you email me a copy today? Thank you."
You are not behind. You are not alone. You just took the first real step — and that's the one most families never get help to take.
When you want an expert in your corner, our first reply is always free.